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Date: Sun, 06 Jun 2004 23:32:48 -0400
Subject: [ASC] NEW TOS: The Lost Years: Course Correction 2/2 [PG-13] Slayer Series
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Forwarded by the ASC-VSO 
Posted: 5 Jun 2004 19:48:20 -0700  
In: alt.startrek.creative 
From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) 
 

TITLE: The Lost Years: Course Correction (Slayer Series)
AUTHOR: Djinn
CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com
SERIES: TOS
RATING: PG-13
CODES: Ch, K, U, Others
PART: 2/2
SUMMARY: The ninth in the Lost Years series.



Kirk puttered around his quarters.  He kept looking at the chrono. 
Eighteen more hours and she'd be gone.

He tried to ignore how his stomach tightened at the thought.  He'd be
fine.  He had a life here that didn't have to involve Chris.  He'd be
perfectly fine.

Just a long way from happy.

He sighed.

His door chime rang.  He hurried to it.  Knew it was her before he
opened the door.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi."

They stood there like two awkward teenagers.

"Can I come in?" she finally asked.

He moved aside immediately.

"I went to L.A.  To say goodbye to Spike."

He felt a wave of jealousy.

"I met Angel.  He's even older than Spike.  But younger, I think, when
he was turned.  It's hard to tell."

Kirk found he couldn't care less about Angel's age.  Was there a
polite way to ask the woman you loved if she'd had carefree sex while
she'd been gone?

She moved closer to him.  "I just went to their office.  Didn't stay
long."  She smiled.

He felt a surge of relief.  "You could have stayed as long as you
wanted."

"I know.  That was how long I wanted to stay.  Not long.  I just
thought...you'd want to know."

He laughed.  "And I do."  He sighed.  "God help me, I do."  He walked
to his bar. "Can I get you a drink?"

"You don't have to treat me like a guest."  She moved beside him.  He
could feel her next to him.  Not touching him, but so close their
personal energy fields were overlapping.  He sighed.  He even found
her energy unrelentingly sexy.

"Jim."

He poured himself a Scotch and moved away from her.  "Fix whatever you
like."

He sat down.  In the chair not the couch.  His last memory of them on
the couch was of waking up with her on top of him.

She surprised him by sitting down on the floor in front of his chair. 
She leaned back and hit his legs.  Without turning to look at him, she
put her drink down and moved his legs to either side, easing back
between them.

He slid back in the chair, but his hand stole out to stroke her hair. 
He heard her moan softly, and he closed his eyes.

She was leaving.  And he wanted her more than he would have believed
possible.  He wanted to slide off his chair and push her down and make
love to her for the rest of their time together.

She took a sip of her drink.  "Tell me to stay.  And I will."

"I'm not going to tell you that."  He laughed, the sound came out
bitter. "Besides, it's too late.  Nogura thinks you'll look for
Kirsu."  It wasn't true, but Nogura didn't need to know that.  "If you
transfer off now, he'll separate us as punishment.  You will get that
garbage scow."

She sighed but didn't argue.

He put his drink down and leaned forward, loosening her hair from its
clips and letting it fall over his hands.

"Jim."  Her voice was so soft.  So sensual. 

He wanted her.  He wanted her so damn much it was killing him.

He let go of her hair, picked up his drink and took a long, desperate
gulp of Scotch.

Then he put the glass down.  Getting drunk was not the way to go.

"You report in at noon?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Are you excited?"

She shrugged.

"Help me out here, Chris."

She suddenly leaned against his leg, pressing her head on his thigh,
as if hiding.  He sighed.  Then he leaned forward and gently pushed
her away enough that he could get up.

She watched him silently.  Her eyes were sad but otherwise unreadable.
 What did she want?  Other than the impossible.

He began to pace.

"I talked to Decker yesterday," she finally said into the silence. 
"He seems okay with me being CMO."

"He doesn't have a choice."  He immediately felt bad.  "That's not
what I meant."

"I know what you meant.  And no, he doesn't have a choice.  But he's
taking it with good grace.  He said he was ambivalent on the CMO
selection, so the person I bumped isn't someone he'll resent losing."

"That's good then."  He looked at her.  

She wasn't looking at him.

"Did you think about it?" he asked, the words coming out before he
could stop them.

She looked up at him.  Confused. 

"Sleeping with Spike?"

She didn't look away.  "I did.  For a moment.  It would have been
fun."

More fun than this, her words seemed to say.

"Why didn't you?"

"He's not who I want.  He's a lovely, giving, fun man.  And it would
have been a wonderful diversion.  Nothing more."  She took a sip of
her drink.  "He's not who I want."  She looked up suddenly, captured
his eyes.

He couldn't look away.

"Is that the right answer?  Is that what you wanted to hear?"

He felt stung.  "I just want the truth."

"Well, that was it."  She still didn't look away.

"Then that was the right answer."

She nodded, finally broke the spell and looked away.  

He took a deep breath, turned to the window.  He wanted her to go.  He
wanted her to stay. He wanted her to sit there, safely across the room
from him.

He wanted her to get up, and walk across the room and press herself
against his back, with her arms around him.

Like she was doing now.

"Jim."

He turned, pulled her to him.  Kissed her hard, with all the passion
he felt.

She moaned, kissed him back even harder.  She moved against him,
rubbing sinuously as her hands locked behind his neck, pulling him
against her harder.

If he could, he would crawl into her and never come out.  He thought
she would do the same, she was moving against him with such urgency.

Was this how it had been for her and Spock?

He pulled away, no easy task when she was holding him so firmly. 
"Chris, no."

She sobbed in frustration, let go of him and turned away.  "Why?  Why
no?  I'll be on the ship tomorrow.  We'll be leaving orbit soon after.
 What does it matter?  Just love me.  Just this once."

"I can't love you just this once.  Don't you understand?  If I love
you at all, it'll be forever."

She moved back to him.  "Then do that.  Forever sounds good.  I'll
love you that long too."  She tried to kiss him but he held her away
from him.  "Jim.  Please.  I'm dying.  If you don't touch me..."

He pulled her close, held her tightly, but in a way that didn't allow
her to kiss him.  "I know.  God, Chris, don't you think I know?"

"Why?  Why can't we have this?  Just one night?"  She moved away from
him, too strong for him to try to hold against her will.  But she
didn't try to kiss him.  "I love you."

He shook his head, knew the expression on his face would be helpless. 
But resolved.

"I'm in love with you, Jim.  I want you.  I like you.  I can't imagine
life without you.  What more do you need to hear?  What can I say to
convince you that this is right?"

He shook his head.  

She collapsed against him.  But she didn't cry.

He kissed her hair.  "I will be your friend forever.  I will die for
you."

"But you won't live for me."

"You know why."

She sighed, then she pulled away.  "I better go."  She looked down. 
"I was hoping I could stay here tonight."

"It's not a good idea."

She nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"Chris. Look at me."

She shook her head.

"Look at me."

She slowly looked up.  There were tears in her eyes.

"I love you.  More than I have ever loved anyone."

She closed her eyes, her chin began to tremble.  

"Just one more night, Chris.  That's all there is to get through, and
then you'll be safely on the ship, and your whole life will be ahead
of you.  A new life.  Without the constant patrols.  Without me."  He
touched her cheek, wiped a tear away.  "It'll be better."

She looked up at him.  "No.  It won't."  Her voice was flat, and
unhappy.  She suddenly stood very straight.  "Am I dismissed, sir?"

"Chris."

She didn't answer.  Just stood rigidly at attention.

He pursed his lips.  Anger, desperate lonely anger filled him. 
"You're dismissed, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, sir."  She turned, a perfect about face.  Her stride was
perfect.  All the way to the door.

Then she sobbed.

He was beside her instantly, pulling her back to him, his mouth on
hers, his hands holding her as close as he dared.  He kissed her
cheeks, her throat, her forehead, went back to her lips.

"Don't forget me," she whispered as he pulled away.

"I never could.  I'll never--"  He broke off, couldn't talk for the
lump in his throat.  He closed his eyes to hold back the tears that
had appeared against his will.  One of them escaped, ran down his
cheek.

"Oh god, Jim.  Don't.  Please don't."  She wiped the tear away, smiled
brokenly as he kissed hers away.  "I love you.  I will always love
you," she said, then she pulled away and fled.

As his door closed behind her.  He held his hand out. "Chris."

He felt the emptiness of his world close around him, stumbled to the
bar and poured himself another Scotch and drank it down quickly.  Then
he drank another.  He drank past the point where he might call her
back.  Drank until all he could do was sit in his chair and think
about her.

Until he passed out.

By the time he woke up, she was gone.  

-------------------------------------

Uhura looked over at Christine.  Her friend had said very little when
she got off the shuttle.  Her quarters were nice, but she didn't seem
to care.

"Was it bad?"

Christine nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah.  Me too."  Christine's voice had the sound of someone who knew
if she talked too much, she'd break down.

"Maybe...in time?"

"I don't think so."  Christine opened her bags, started to unpack,
then she stopped, holding a uniform close, staring down at the bed. 
"I feel like I'm going to die, Ny."

Uhura hurried to her, pulled the uniform gently away and forced her to
sit.  She knelt in front of her and forced her chin up.

"Christine, you listen to me.  I believe love will always find a way. 
And I know that you love him.  And that he loves you so much that it
breaks my heart that this is happening to the two of you.  But you
have to have faith."

"Faith?  In what?"  Christine pulled away from Uhura's hand.  "How do
you have faith if you don't believe in anything anymore?"

"I'll believe for you."

Christine shook her head.  "I'm pretty sure that's not how it works."

"It can.  If you want it to."

Christine met her eyes, and Uhura tired to put her most unwavering
belief in her expression.

"And Len?  Is that what you believe for you two?"

Uhura had to look away.

"See.  Not so easy when it's your own heart, now is it?"  Christine's
words were harsh, but she touched Uhura's shoulder, grasped it gently.

"I still believe.  Len and I will be okay."

"I know you will.  But Jim and I..."

Uhura nodded, stood up slowly.  "It's not as if Spock is ever coming
back."

"Preaching to the choir, Ny."

"He'll miss you."

Christine nodded.  

"He'll want to see you."

She shook her head.  "He's good at denying himself what he wants." 
She smiled sadly at Uhura.  "Don't you have a bridge to report to?"

"Yes, I do.  Dinner tonight?"  

"You bet."  Christine tried to smile.  It didn't work very well.  She
turned back to unpacking, taking out a t-shirt and holding it tightly
for a moment.  Then she stuffed it back into the carryall and pushed
the bag under the bed.

Uhura felt a strange sadness come over her.  "I'll see you later."

Christine nodded, was still standing with her back to her when Uhura
let the door close between them.  Uhura tried to tell herself that
Christine was just thinking.  Tried to pretend that her friend wasn't
crying.

It didn't help.  In fact, it only made her feel worse.

--------------------------------

Christine sat at the end of the conference table, staring down the
other doctors.  She tried to pretend that they were vampires, realized
she was overdoing it when they all suddenly looked away, or down at
their notes.  She made a mental note to not terrify her staff.

Smiling, she tried to dial the intensity in her expression down a few
notches.  They began to relax and interact more normally with her. 
The meeting was just a formality at this point.  They hadn't even left
orbit yet.

She was intensely aware of the beautiful blue ball spinning below
them.  Aware of the man who was on it, maybe looking up at where he'd
know she was.

She missed him so much it hurt.

After the meeting, she left sickbay, wandered the ship, relearning the
corridors and decks.  She saw a familiar figure getting off the
turbolift and called out, "Jan?" and hurried down the corridor.

Rand turned, her smile was strange.  Not as happy as Christine
expected it to be.  "Christine.  I'd heard you were going to be here."

"Yeah, I'm CMO."

"You are?"

"I know.  It's weird.  Don't ask."  

Rand didn't look like she was going to.  Christine studied her.  She
looked so different.  Older, but more real than the cute, bubbly woman
she'd known before.

"You look good?"

Rand laughed.  "Older."

Christine laughed too.  "Well, aren't we all?"

"I like your hair dark.  It suits you better than blonde."

Christine smiled.  "So you didn't like it blonde?"  Her smile faded
when Janice didn't answer.  "Jan, is everything okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?"  Rand touched her hand.  "I'm sorry; I'm
just in a hurry.  We'll catch up later?"

"Okay."

Rand started to walk away, then turned and gave Christine a real
smile.  "I am glad you're here.  I just have to go.  I'm sort of
expecting a comm.  A family thing."  She rolled her eyes.

"Say no more."  Christine smiled.  

Rand nodded and hurried off.

Christine took the lift to the bridge, watched the crew doing the
final preps on their stations.  Sulu looked up and saw her.  His smile
was huge.

She wandered over to his station.  "Where's the captain?"

"In engineering.  They're having some trouble."

"Nothing serious?"

He made a face.  

"Oh.  Well, I'm sure he and Scotty will get to the bottom of it."

Sulu nodded.  "Neither of them will give up until it's fixed."  He
leaned toward her, his voice pitched very low when he asked, "Did you
ever get a chance to use those bullets?"

"No.  And my great-great-grandmother is spinning in her grave over
what I did to her silverware."

Sulu laughed.  "I'm sure it was for a good cause?"

She nodded.  It had been.  And it had been an excuse for Jim and her
to spend lots of time together while they were looking for
werewolves--one in particular.

But that part of her life was over.  No more werewolves, no more
patrols, no more slaying.  Her life was back on track.  She was going
to be a doctor.  She was going to do what David had told her. 
Preserve life instead of taking it.

It was a positive step.  And someday, when she was far enough away
from Jim, maybe she'd feel better about it.

Someday maybe she'd be happy again.  

But she wasn't holding her breath.

-----------------------------

Kirk sat in the cafeteria, pushing his food around.  Chris had only
been gone for a few days, he had to get over this.  At least, he'd
stopped drinking.  He'd thought Weasel was going to expel him from
sorcerer school if he showed up hung over for his lesson one more
time.

He got up, threw his tray into the recycler.  He'd be hungry again
someday.  Someday when the ship and Chris were gone and not hanging
right over his head.

Just out of reach.

He walked back to his office.  Work waited.  His boring, boring work.

Hall looked up as he walked in.  "Admiral Nogura wants to see you,
sir."

Kirk nodded, headed for his office.

"Now, sir."  Hall gave him an apologetic look.  "His secretary said as
soon as you got back."

Kirk sighed and turned around.  He walked the short way to Nogura's
office, saw that Lori's former digs were closed off, a security device
on the door to keep everyone out.  He wondered what kind of magic was
at work in the room.  So many of her things still inside--Kirk knew
enough about sympathetic magic...and curses, to not want to be in her
shoes.  The old man did not seem to be in a forgiving mood.

Not that Kirk blamed him.  She'd tricked him into killing Carl.  Tried
to kill Chris.

Ellie looked up as he walked in.  "Oh good.  He's in a foul mood,
Jim."  She commed Nogura. "Admiral Kirk is here."

"Send him in," Nogura bellowed.

"See?"

He nodded.  Walked into the room.  He could feel Nogura's anger the
minute he walked in.  Energy pounded at him and he fortified his own
shields, the act coming almost without thought.  The bombardment of
negative energy became far less noticeable.

Nogura waved him to a chair.

"You look like a man with a problem."  Kirk said.

Nogura glared at him.  "I've got three of them."

"Lori's one.  What are the other two?"

"Did you find Lori?"

Kirk shook his head.  

Nogura didn't look surprised.  "Damn her.  I taught her too well."  He
shook his head.  "I was a fool to trust her."

"Maybe you need to rethink your methods.  She seems to harbor a pretty
big grudge."

"My methods have been tested and perfected over the centuries, Jim. 
They're harsh, but they work.  And nobody's forced into it."

"She was, by her parents.  That little girl was.  They didn't ask for
it."

"Well, maybe the children are.  But they're too young to know what the
impact of turning down the opportunity would be.  They have no idea
how hard it will be to survive in the world without some control."  He
shook his head.  "Lori seems to want them to be free of it.  Free but
not in control.  There cannot be freedom without discipline.  That's
always been the thought behind our methods."  He rubbed at his eyes. 
"But Lori's not my primary problem."

"What is?"

"We have an alien...thing"--Nogura frowned at such sloppy
terminology--"of incredible destructive power heading straight for
Earth.  I need to send the Enterprise out.  But Decker..."  He stared
at Kirk.  "Tell me straight.  Can he handle it?"

Kirk shrugged.  "He doesn't have seasoning.  This wouldn't be my first
choice for a maiden voyage."

"I don't have a choice.  The Enterprise is our most advanced ship."

"It hasn't even had a shakedown cruise.  Send another ship."

"The ones that come closest in capability are too far away. It has to
be the Enterprise."

"Then Decker will do as well as he can."  Kirk didn't say that he
could do better.  He and Nogura both knew that already.  "You said you
had a third problem."

"Assuming we survive the...whatever it is, Carol Marcus turned down
the funding proposal."

So Carol had stuck to her guns?  Kirk smiled.  Her tenacity when it
came to her principles was one of the things that had attracted him to
her in the first place.

"The trouble is that we want Genesis, Jim.  And only she can deliver
it.  And she won't."

Kirk began to smile.

"You have an idea?"  Nogura leaned forward.

"Carol is very displeased that I'm on Earth.  I thought she'd be more
forgiving, but she hasn't been.  I think she's afraid I'll corrupt
David."  Kirk leaned back.  "So you have two choices if you want
Genesis.  Move the project off of Earth.  Or move me off of Earth."

"I can't move the project.  It'd be ridiculously inefficient. 
Everything she needs is here."  His eyes narrowed.  "Move you where?"

Kirk smiled.  Shook his head.  "Lori's on the loose, possibly running
free out there somewhere."  He gestured up, toward the heavens.  "Now
this thing?  Stop the thing, deal with Lori, and find Kirsu...are you
sure Decker is up to that?  At the very least, he'll ask questions. 
Too many questions."

"What's your angle, Jim?"

"Give her back to me."

"The Enterprise?  You're mad."

"I'll deal with this probe.  I'll find Lori and Kirsu."  He crossed
his fingers, sent a plea for forgiveness to the gods of truth.

"Decker and your slayer can do that."

"But Decker can't deliver you Genesis.  With me gone for another five
years, Carol will say yes.  She'll stay on Earth."

"I could just move you somewhere else."

"I could just quit and stay here."

Nogura stared at him.  Kirk refused to blink.

"Does that mean I have to transfer Doctor Chapel off the ship?" 
Nogura looked prepared to do it.

Kirk shook his head.  "Keep her there."   He needed to be close to
Chris again.  He wasn't sure what that meant in the long term, but to
have her with him again, his best friend now, someone he trusted
implicitly.  That would be worth everything.  And maybe, in time,
Spock wouldn't matter so much.  He smiled.  Maybe in not much time at
all. Weasel had said it.  Where the hell was Spock?

This time, damn it, he was going to reach for it all.  

He'd get her...and his ship.

Nogura gave him a grudging smile.  "Where's your sense of honor?"

"Rapidly fading."  

Nogura laughed.  

Kirk suddenly had a wild idea.  "I want her demoted though.  To deputy
CMO.  Transfer off whoever was supposed to be that."

"And put who in her place?"

"McCoy.  Reactivate him."

Nogura made a face.  "Jim.  There's a limit."

"I need my team.  My whole team.  You can't get me Spock.  I know
that.  But give me McCoy.  I need him."  He did need Bones.  His
conscience.  The burr under his saddle.  The one man who'd never stop
telling him the hard truth.

And Uhura and Bones could be together.  

And Chris wouldn't report directly to him.  

Kirk smiled.  It worked out all the way around.

Nogura stared at him.  Then he sighed.  "I have a feeling I'm going to
be very sorry about this."  He made the call to personnel.

Kirk imagined Bones getting the news in Savannah.  He'd be livid. 
He'd be beyond livid.

Kirk grinned.  Then his grin faded.  He hoped he could tell Chris
before she heard it from someone else.

"You can tell Decker yourself.  And your girlfriend.  Since you've
maneuvered me into this."  Nogura's face tightened.  "Decker was your
recommendation."

"I know.  And, next to me, he's the best man for the job."  Kirk met
Nogura's eyes, didn't look away.

He could feel the magic crackling between them as the final battle of
wills took place in a way that only they could see.

Nogura finally nodded, and the magic pounding at Kirk's defenses faded
away.

"I could still squash you like a bug," Nogura said.  "And don't forget
it.  But, where your ship--and a certain woman--are concerned, you
seem to have enough passion to take me on."

Kirk sat back.  "Then she's mine?"

"She's yours.  I hope you enjoy her.  Both of them."  Nogura walked to
the bar.  "Let's drink to the occasion."

Kirk laughed.  "You drink.  I'll watch."

Nogura tipped his head in defeat.  "As you wish."  

Kirk walked to the window, looked up, high into the sky.  His ship was
up there.  And Chris.

He'd be with both of them soon.


FIN

--
Forwarded to ASCL by:
Stephen Ratliff
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