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Date: Sun, 06 Jun 2004 23:33:04 -0400
Subject: [ASC] NEW TOS: The Lost Years: Unstoppable 3/3 [PG-13] Slayer Series
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Forwarded by the ASC-VSO 
Posted: 5 Jun 2004 19:54:35 -0700  
In: alt.startrek.creative 
From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) 
 

TITLE: The Lost Years: Unstoppable (Slayer Series)
AUTHOR: Djinn
CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com
SERIES: TOS
RATING: PG-13
CODES: Ch, K, U, Others
PART: 3/3
SUMMARY: The tenth in the Lost Years series.



Spock watched McCoy bustle around and knew that the doctor was
stalling for time.  And given the emotions he had felt pouring out of
Jim as he had touched Spock's arm, Spock believed he knew why McCoy
was doing it.

He felt a wave of jealousy.  But it was accompanied by an even bigger
wave of regret.  His friend's motive had been clear.  He had been
bowing out.  Spock had read love and desire for Christine, but also
pain.  The pain of loss.

Spock was intimately familiar with that pain.  Could read it all too
well.  Jim was in love with Christine.  And he was walking away from
that love.

Spock knew it was for him.  It was something he would never have
understood without the meld with V'ger.  Joining with the machine had
freed him somehow, given him insight into his own emotions.  Or maybe
it had been knowing that V'ger had been envious of him, that it wanted
to understand all the feelings Spock had tried so hard to kill.

He had been a fool.

He had much ground to catch up on.  And the first place was with
Christine.

He wondered if she was in love with Jim.  He was finding her far more
difficult to read than Jim.

She came into sickbay, walking slowly and rubbing at her back.  Her
eyes were slightly red.  She nodded tightly at him then went into one
of the offices.

"I believe you can stop stalling now, Doctor McCoy," Spock said
softly.  "They appear to be done."

The medical scanner jerked a bit in McCoy's hands, but other than that
he didn't give anything away.

Spock pushed off the biobed.  He touched McCoy's hand.  "Does she love
him?"

McCoy's expression wasn't guilty so much as confused.  "I've been gone
a lot, offworld.  I'm not sure what is going on."  He shrugged.  "I
just thought they needed some time to--"

"--I am not angry with you, Leonard."  Spock saw McCoy's eyebrow go up
at his use of his first name.  "I know you did it out of love."  He
studied the door of Christine's office.  "She does not seem overjoyed
to see me."

McCoy shrugged again.  

Spock could feel a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, didn't
try to stop it.  McCoy frowned, lifted the scanner again.

Spock shook his head.  "It is just an aftereffect of the meld.  The
excess emotionality will pass."

"If you say so."

Spock nodded.  "I must speak with her."

"You _must_?"  

Spock nodded, conceding the point.  "I _want_ to speak with her."

"Okay, then go talk to her."

Spock turned.

"And Spock.  Go slow.  She's been through a lot."

Spock realized his friends all had the advantage of him.  He had no
idea what she had been through.  "I will go slowly."  Unlike when he
had found out she was the slayer and he had rushed them far too
quickly into being lovers.  Why had he done that?

This time he would go slowly.

Christine looked up as he came in.  Her face was a mask.  A perfect
Vulcan mask.

"May I sit?" he asked, gesturing to one of the chairs.

She nodded. The mask did not slip.

"Not even one smile?" he asked.

She sighed.  Shook her head, but a sad smile crossed her mouth for a
moment.

"You were kind to me when I first arrived.  You told me you were
sorry."

"I was sorry," she said.

"Was?"  He could feel his own mouth turning up again into a small
smile.

She seemed surprised.  "Am sorry.  I am sorry that I hurt you."

He nodded.  "I too am sorry that I hurt you."  He looked down.  Shame
flooded through him when he remembered how he had tried to take her
against her will back to Vulcan with him.  He let the shame fill him,
then let it dissipate.  It was part of his past; he could not undo it.
 It did not have to be part of his future.  "Is Spike all right?"

Her eyes softened.  "He is."

"You loved him."

"It wasn't like that.  I mean, yes, I do love him but I'm not in love
with him.  Our relationship was never what you thought.  He found me
when all I wanted to do was die.  He saved my life when I couldn't be
bothered, put me back on the road to healing."

Spock nodded.

"Do you understand what a dark place I was in when you bonded with
me?"

"I knew that then."  He was unsure where she was going with this.

"Wasn't it dangerous to bond with someone in that condition?  What if
I'd descended into true darkness?  What would that have done to you?"

"I was strong enough to hold us both above the pit."  

"Interesting choice of words, Spock."  She stood up.  "Do you mind if
we walk?"

"Not at all."  He followed her out of her office and sickbay.  

Once they were out in the corridor and moving, she seemed to relax a
bit.  "If you had waited...Spike left soon after you ran off to Gol. 
If you'd given me time.  If you just hadn't been pushing so hard to
get me to do what you wanted, you probably would have won me over."

He watched her face as she talked, trying to assess if she wished he
had waited, if she wished things had gone differently for them. 
Again, she was a cipher.

"Perhaps I was in a dark place as well, Christine?"

She nodded.  "It's in the past now, isn't it?"

It was what he had been thinking.  "Yes.  It is."

"And now?  What do you want from me now?"

He wanted to say "Everything," but the expression on her face told him
to tread carefully.  "To get to know you again."  He saw something in
her face twitch, as if his words had hit a nerve.  "Was that the wrong
thing to say, Christine?"

"No.  It was the right thing to say."  

"You do not seem very happy about that."

"It's just a surprise to see you after all this time.  Your last
communication wasn't what I'd call pleasant."

"No.  I know.  I was angry."

"Yeah, that came through."

She seemed angry too.  He wanted to reach out, touch her and try to
read her while he was still open to the emotions, but she was more
closed off to him than ever.  Being a receptor meant nothing if there
were no transmissions coming in.

"Christine, do you still love me?"

She finally looked at him.  "How can I answer that?  You've been gone
for so long.  You have no idea what I've been through.  And I have no
idea who you are anymore."

"Yes, you do.  I am who I ever was."

"Oh, I see.  So you're still the man who knocked me out and tried to
kidnap me?"

He looked away.  Could she not let that go?

"The one who beat Spike up?  The one who sent messages intended to
hurt me and your best friend?"

Spock could feel anger rising inside him.  Another remnant of the
meld.  He pushed it back.  But not before he said, "Is now the time to
talk about Jim, Christine?"

She shut down, her face going blank before his eyes, her anger seeming
to fade away.  "We don't need to talk about him.  So he didn't tell
you where I was--get over it."

"I can get over that.  But perhaps it is what happened since then that
we need to discuss."  He thought he saw a mild trace of panic on her
face, strove to make his voice as calm as possible.  "I am not angry. 
These are not words of remonstrance, Christine.  But when he touched
me, when he gave you back to me, I read certain things from him."

She closed her eyes.

"But you are here and he is not.  I know the sacrifice he is making
for me...for us."

She turned away.

"I do not expect you to welcome me back with open arms.  Not
immediately.  I know there is much we have to work through.  But
should we not honor his choice?  Should we not try to get to know each
other again?"

She looked at him, her eyes miserable.

"Ah.  You love him."

She didn't move.

"It is all right, Christine.  You do not need to lie."

She shook her head, her eyes so tired, more tired than they had been
when she'd come to him in the engineering room.

He touched her cheek.  "You are exhausted."

Her expression softened.  She nodded.

"I will leave you alone for a while then."  He dropped his hand
reluctantly.  It felt so good to touch her.  "Perhaps dinner tonight?"

She nodded again.  Almost in defeat.

He pushed her gently into a cross corridor, out of the main
passageway.  "Christine, do you want this?  Do you want to get to know
me again?"

She turned away and he realized she was trying not to cry.  

"Did you love me?"

She turned on him, her eyes filled with tears, tears that ran down her
cheeks.  "How can you even ask me that?  I loved you more than
anything.  There's a part of my heart that I'll never get back because
it's yours and it died with you."

She sobbed, and the sound cut him to the heart.  He pulled her to him
and held her.  He didn't say anything for a long time, just let her
cry.

"I'm sorry, Christine.  If we could go back to that moment, I would
have to do it again.  You would have followed me into death."  And
with that he suddenly understood what Jim had done, and why he'd said
that he'd keep Christine's location from him all over again if he had
it to do over.  Some things you did not because they were easy or
because you wanted to.  You did them because you had to.

"Maybe that wasn't your decision to make for me?"  

"I believe it was."  He sighed.  

"I did love you," she said, as her arms stole around him.

He felt a surge of satisfaction, then realized she had used the past
tense.  He decided not to point that out to her when she was finally
holding him.  He would just have to make her love him again.

She had loved him once enough to bond with him.  That day would come
again.

She pulled away from him.  "I have to go check something out."  She
looked up at him.  "Be careful of Rand.  She's on the enemy team."

"Rand is?"  He frowned.  "She is working for the Klingons?"

She smiled, a mirthless smile, but the expression was at least closer
to the real thing than anything else she'd given him so far.  "No, not
the Klingons.  There's a lot you have to catch up on."

"You can tell me what I have missed.  At dinner."

"Yes.  At dinner."  She looked resigned.  Like a prisoner walking to
her fate.

Spock forced himself to ignore the look.  "I will see you then."

She nodded again, then turned and walked quickly down the hall back to
sickbay.

He watched her until she was out of sight.

------------------------------

Christine sat in her office, staring at the screen but not making any
sense of the words.  Gods, she was tired.

"You okay, kid?"

She felt Len's hands on her shoulders.  "I'm not."

He squeezed gently.  "You know he loves you."

She wasn't sure which "he" Len was referring to, decided it didn't
matter.  She leaned back against him and looked up.  "It's a mess."

"I'll agree with you there."  He let go of her, sat down in the other
chair.  "I'm here.  I know I haven't been around much, but I'm here
now."

She smiled, nodded.  She was glad he was back.  She was glad she
didn't have to make all the decisions.  Not when she had to be the
slayer too.  Not when he was her friend and mentor and the only one
who understood what she was going through.

"Hey," Uhura said from the door.

One of two, anyway. Christine felt another surge of relief at seeing
her friend, then blinked rapidly as tears started to get away from
her.

Len got up, said brusquely, "I'll be outside if you need me."  He
touched Ny's arm as he passed her, and she shot him a loving smile.

She moved into the room, held out her arms.  "Oh, Christine.  I'm
sorry."

Christine let Uhura lean over her and pull her into a close embrace. 
She didn't try to stop the tears this time.  She didn't have to say
what was wrong, and Ny didn't try to make it better.  She just stroked
Christine's hair and said, "Shhh.  I'm here."

Finally, Christine pulled away.  She nodded tightly as if saying she
was all right.  They both knew it was a lie, but a necessary one.

"I have to get back to the bridge." 

"I know.  Thanks."  

Uhura started to walk out then she turned back.  "I ran into Janice on
the way down.  She's acting really strange."

Christine rolled her eyes.  "She's a werewolf."

"She is?"  Uhura shook her head.  "Did we know that?"

Christine laughed.  "No.  We didn't."

"Shouldn't we have?"

"Probably."  Christine called up the morgue reports from Starfleet
Medical's central files.  The coroner's report on Lori was brief.  It
was mainly a chemical analysis of the remains.

"Is Janice dangerous?"

"I don't know.  I'm trying to find that out."

Uhura touched her briefly on the shoulder.  "I'm here for you.  If you
need to talk...if things get too weird.  I mean weirder than normal."

Christine smiled.  She'd be lost without Nyota, thanked every god she
didn't believe in that the two of them had repaired the rents in their
friendship.  "I will."

She heard Uhura leave, heard her talking to McCoy then she lost
herself in the analysis of the remains.  She checked the DNA and it
matched Lori's.  But something seemed off.  A werewolf usually had
high amounts of lysine and tryptophan in their systems.  If this had
been Lori, Christine could expect to see that.  And they were higher
than normal.  She checked further.  She kept reading the report, sure
she was missing something.

Then she saw it.  Aconite.  Wolfsbane.  Used to control the change. 
And control the wolf.  Lori wouldn't have taken it, was long past
needing it.  But a new werewolf would need it to keep from changing if
it were the three days around the full moon.  And it had been, when
they'd tried to beam up.  But to replicate the DNA--had Lori cloned
herself, and then put the clone into the transporter?

But Sonak had been there, he would have noticed.  But maybe that
didn't matter. If Lori had her own person on the Earth side of that
transport, she could have easily switched out the bodies.  Sonak would
have been helpless to stop it, would not have understood what was
going to happen.

But that meant that the accident had been planned.  

Christine stood up, exited out of the database, trying her best to
cover her tracks.  She headed for the transporter room.  Rand wasn't
there.  "Oh, Doctor Chapel," the crewman from earlier said.  "You just
missed her.  She's gone to the gym."

Christine nodded, turned around and headed to the gym.  It had been
redone too, was bigger than it had been.  Rand was flirting with a
burly crewman who was working out at the weights.

Christine walked over, grabbed her arm and said, "We need to talk."

"She was talking to me, Lieutenant."  The crewman had to outrank her
if she was using her rank.

"She'll be back in a second."

The man grabbed her arm, bore down only slightly, as if he didn't want
to hurt her.  "I said she's busy."

Christine twisted her arm from under his, leaving him staring at where
it had been.  She grabbed his wrist, put some pressure on it.  She saw
his eyes widen in surprise at her strength.  "And I said that she'd be
right back.  Now go back to your weights and there won't be any
trouble."

The man moved back, and Christine hustled Rand into the women's locker
room.  It was deserted.  Christine slammed Rand up against the
lockers.

"You love to do that, don't you?"  Rand's eyes flickered with fear but
she smiled her mocking smile.  "I guess your day didn't get any
better?"

Christine let go of her.  She just didn't have the heart for this
after all that had happened.  And she was afraid she might lose
control.  She'd dearly love to beat something evil up right about now.
 She just wasn't sure Rand fit that description.

"What?  Lose your nerve?"  Rand smiled.  "Doesn't surprise me.  You
always were a lightweight."

"And you always were a spy for Nogura and Lori."

Rand shrugged.  "I did what they told me."

"Does that include committing murder?"

Rand's eyes narrowed.  "What are you talking about?"

"Sonak."

"I wasn't at the controls.  That was your boyfriend."

"Before that."  Christine moved in closer.  "You set the whole thing
up.  The overload, everything."

"You think I murdered Sonak and my cousin?"  True anger flared in
Rand's eyes.  "You think I could do that?  They were innocents."  She
looked down.  "Well, maybe Lori wasn't.  But Sonak?  Why would I hurt
him?"

"Maybe because Lori told you to?  Just like she told you to spy on us.
 You knew I was the slayer.  That I was here.  And then with Jim on
board unexpectedly, you had to do something."

"I didn't know you were the slayer until you came into the transporter
room and started throwing your weight around.  The only person Lori
and Nogura cared about back when we all served together was Jim.  And
this time they didn't tell me any different.  It's not like I can ask
them to explain themselves."

"Because he owns you and she controls you?"

Rand looked down.  "Something like that.  You wouldn't understand."

"Lori showed me the pens."

Rand made a face but she seemed to relax a little.  "Then you know why
I can't fight him.  She was the strongest of any of us, and she
couldn't fight him.  Why should I try?"

Christine sighed.  This was going nowhere.  "You know that it would
only take one mind meld with Spock to get the truth out of you."

Rand blanched.  "He'd never do that."

Christine tended to agree with her.  But it wasn't important if Spock
would or wouldn't, Christine just had to make Janice believe he might
be capable of it.  "Oh, I think he'd do just about anything I asked
him to right now."

Rand seemed to shrink.  Christine wondered what her life had been
like.  How much of it had been spent in the pens?  Learning not to
shift, learning or being punished when she didn't learn fast enough? 
After the harshness of Nogura's treatment, it was no wonder that Rand
had fallen for Kirk.  He'd probably been the first authority figure to
not treat her as a freak--to treat her with any kindness.

"Okay," Christine said as she backed off.

Rand reached out.  "Do you think I'm capable of murder?"  Christine's
answer seemed to matter a great deal to her.

"I've become jaded over the years, Jan.  There aren't many people I
don't think capable of just about anything."  She walked away.

Rand followed her out, but not too closely.

--------------------------------------

Kirk picked a table out of the way of the main traffic in the mess. 
He just wanted to be alone.  To wallow in his pity party by himself.

He saw Spock and Chris walk in.  Chris seemed to be looking for
something.  When she saw him, she walked over.  Spock following
behind.

"Hi," he said, making his voice a careful neutral for her, then
realized that he should be friendlier if he wanted it to look like
nothing was wrong.  He tried again.  "Here for dinner?"

She nodded, and he tried to ignore the look in her eyes. The look that
said she was not happy about how things had gone, that she didn't want
to have dinner with Spock.  The look that asked him to fight for her.

He wouldn't fight Spock for her.  She knew that.

She sat down, and Spock took the chair next to her.  

"It wasn't Lori in the transporter," she said softly.  "I think it was
a clone."

He frowned.  "Then the accident was no accident."

"Right."

"Then Rand..." he started to get up.

She touched his hand.  "No.  I think she's not involved other than
getting Lori up to the ship."

Kirk noticed Spock was watching Chris, seemed fixated with her hand on
Kirk's.  He pulled away from her gently, and Spock seemed to relax.

Did his friend know?  Surely Chris hadn't told him?

"So, she's still out there?"  He leaned back a bit, trying to get away
from her.

Chris nodded, then she got up quickly, as if hurt at his actions. 
"I'll let you get back to your dinner."  The word "alone" hung between
them.

"Yes, thanks.  Enjoy yours."  The word "together" was also unspoken.

She nodded tightly, then turned and walked away.  Spock stood for a
moment, staring down at him.  Kirk began to feel uncomfortable.

"It is good to serve with you again, Jim," Spock finally said.  "I
missed you."  He seemed to trip a little over the words.

"I missed you too, Spock."  That, at least, was the full truth.  There
had not been a time when he had not missed his friend.

Spock nodded, then turned to join Chris.  Kirk watched as he said
something to her, and she nodded tightly.  Spock looked unhappy for a
moment, then he said something else, and Kirk saw a small smile on her
face.

It was as he had thought.  She just needed some time with Spock.  

He had to let her go so that she could give his friend a chance.

Rand walked into the mess, glanced over his away.  Her smile seemed an
open invitation as if to say, "I'm here.  I'm here for you."

He turned away, but then he had a perfect view of Chris and Spock. 
Chris still didn't look happy, but she didn't look like she was going
to bolt.  She smiled at something else Spock said.

Spock looked extremely content.  Back with his woman.

Kirk put his fork down, suddenly not hungry.  He picked up his tray
and dumped it.  He'd go to the bridge, sit another shift and try to
remember that he had it all back just the way he wanted it.  His ship,
his friend.

So he was without Chris--wasn't that his destiny?  Hadn't he told
Spock that so many years ago?  That he'd always be alone.

No beach to walk on.

No slayer to love.

He turned and watched them again.  Then he turned and hurried out. 
Some things were too painful to watch.  At least for now.

He'd get used to it.  He'd get used to seeing them together.  

He'd stop remembering what if felt like to hold her, to love her.

Someday.

But not just yet.  No magic in the world could get him to that point
tonight.


FIN

--
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Stephen Ratliff
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