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Date: Sun, 06 Jun 2004 23:38:53 -0400
Subject: [ASC] NEW TOS: The Lost Years: New Heading 4/4 [PG-13] Slayer Series
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Forwarded by the ASC-VSO 
Posted: 5 Jun 2004 20:01:12 -0700  
In: alt.startrek.creative 
From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) 
 

TITLE: The Lost Years: New Heading (Slayer Series)
AUTHOR: Djinn
CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com
SERIES: TOS
RATING: PG-13
CODES: Ch, K, S, U, Others
PART: 4/4
SUMMARY: The eleventh and final segment in the Lost Years series. I
together (and ripping them apart).
Thanks to Rabble Rouser and Trekki for the beta!



Spock found that he could not get Saavik out of his mind as he tried
to analyze the readings he'd taken of the wolfsbane.  He sat in an
empty office in the science lab and worked quickly, but thoughts of
the little girl kept intruding.

Jim had made it clear that it was Spock's call what should be done
with her.  Spock did not think that taking her to Vulcan now would be
the best thing.  Vulcan prejudice was deep seated.  If he took a
Vulcan-Romulan girl home, there would be questions about her origins. 
And she would be subjected to the same kind of scrutiny he had been as
a child.  She'd be under the same pressure to measure up, to repress
her Romulan side.

And she'd be the only one, just like he had been.

But she didn't have to be.  Not if they could find Hellguard.  She had
said there were others like her.  Not like her and Jim--Spock supposed
she'd meant the magic.  But like her and Spock.  She'd touched her
forehead and ears.  There were other half-breeds, like them.

If he could rescue them all, then she would be just one of many.  And
she might not stand out with her magic.  He could take her home; his
mother would know how to raise her.  And Jim and Christine would know
magicians who would help.

He would speak to his father.  This was a matter for Vulcans to
pursue.  His father would know the best way to handle this.

And for now Saavik was safer in Kirsu.  And Kirsu was safer with her
there.  He remembered her solemn face as she had told him, "I protect
this place."

He'd nodded absently.  

She kicked at the grass until he turned to look at her.  "_I_ protect
here."  She looked back at the house.  "He--the human--protects where
you are."

"Are you saying you want to stay here?"

She had nodded.  "They need me."  Then she smiled, an expression that
seemed shocking on Vulcan features.  Unless you considered Sybok. 
Which he did not.  His mind, even now, shied away from thoughts of
Sybok.

Then she had said, "But not forever."  She'd laughed, skipping away
and picking up a quarterstaff that was easily three times her size. 
She challenged one of the younger girls with it.

She had done quite well with it too.  He supposed there were worse
things than growing up with slayers.  She'd acquit herself well in
anything that required fighting.  He repressed a small smile.  If he
had known better how to fight, perhaps a few Vulcan bullies who had
tormented him with their words and biting sarcasm, would have been
afraid of his fists instead of just raising their pure-Vulcan eyebrows
at his attempts to fight.

He turned back to his analysis.  Saavik was not a problem he could
solve now, but the origin of the plants was.  The monkshood was indeed
of two kinds.  From two distinct magical sources, no doubt, since
their properties were so different.  He'd make a full report to Jim
and Christine when they were all alone again.

He could not get the image of their clasped hands, the easy way Jim
had reached back for her, and she had met him, offering him her
strength without ever knowing what he wanted it for.  And how she had
caught him, how he had let her.  Spock had expected Jim to pull away,
but he seemed comfortable that she was stronger.

He seemed comfortable with everything about her.  They seemed bonded
so tightly, without benefit of any bond.  Spock understood now that
he'd never had a chance with her.  Not when Jim and she'd had so much
time to fall in love, to become friends, and to get to know each other
in a way he and she had never done.

They had rushed into their relationship and it had hurt them.  In the
end, it had helped destroy them.  He would not make that mistake
again...if the time ever came when he believed his heart could hold
anyone but her.

He closed his eyes.  It hurt.  He had no one to tell that to.  No one
he trusted enough to share it with except the very two people who he
could never tell it to.  But it hurt.

It hurt unimaginably.

He sighed and rose, shutting up the office and taking the tricorder to
his quarters before heading down to the mess hall.  The room was
crowded and he almost took his tray back to his quarters but somehow
that seemed like defeat to him.  And he knew that if he did it now, he
would always do it.

He looked for Jim and Christine but they were not in the room.  Then
he spotted a free table in the back and made his way to it.  Ignoring
the noise around him, he concentrated on each bite of food as if it
was a meditation.  It would have been a more effective meditation if
he had not looked up every few minutes to see if Christine and Jim had
come in while he had been contemplating his broccoli.

"This seat taken?"

He looked up, frowned as he saw Chief Rand standing with a tray,
waiting impatiently.

"Look, it's the only seat left in the whole mess.  I checked.  Now,
can I sit or can't I?"  She seemed exceptionally agitated in addition
to being unusually brusque with a senior officer.

He nodded at the chair and she sank into it with a graceful, almost
feline movement.  "Thanks.  Normally, when the place is this crowed, I
just take dinner back to my quarters but my roommate's there and I'm
not in the mood for feminine company tonight.  You know?"

He let an eyebrow lift be his comment.

"You don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you?"  She leaned
in.  "See the moon was just full back on Earth, and I'm still a little
antsy."  She moved a bit in her chair before cutting into some very
rare meat.

Spock looked away.  "I can see you are slightly anxious."

"Slightly?"  She laughed.  "So where's your ex-wife?"  She was
watching him carefully, as if she was not sure the term fit. 
Something in his look must have shown her she was right, because she
leaned forward, smiled almost savagely.  "Lost her to my heartthrob,
didn't you?"

He chose not to answer.  Tried to go back to meditating on his
vegetables but found himself looking back at Rand.  With some
interest.  He pushed that thought away quickly.

She laughed, as if she knew exactly what he had been thinking. 
"Sorry.  It's the pheromones.  I didn't think Vulcans were susceptible
though.  Good to know you are, I guess."  She shook her head.  "You
know it used to be Christine and me doing this.  Commiserating.  Me
over the captain, her over you.  We were pretty pathetic."  She
frowned, then her lips quickly turned up into a smirk.  "Of course, I
was a lot busier when I wasn't commiserating than our Chrissie was, if
you get my drift?"

He was not entirely sure he did, but as the conversation seemed to be
revolving around sex, he assumed it had to do with that.  "Ah," he
said, hoping it would cover a multitude of expected responses.

It seemed to.  "Wasn't I shocked to find out she's with the captain
now?  And that she was married to you?  How'd all that happen?"  She
was eating her food rapidly, but not in a graceless way.  She was just
an enormously efficient carnivore.

"It is a long story."

"I bet.  Well, some other time then."  She smiled at him.  "Because I
don't have time to sit and chat."

"You don't?"  Not that he cared one way or the other if she stayed. 
But he was finding her somewhat manic informality perplexing.

She nodded.  "I'm surprised Christine the saint didn't fill you in on
me."

"She did tell me you were a werewolf."

"Yeah I figured, since you do seem to be following this conversation. 
Frankly it's a relief to be able to talk about it to someone."  She
laughed.  "And you're not afraid of me, are you?  She seems to think
I'm evil."

He studied her.  She did not look evil.  But he was not entirely
certain if evil had a standard look.  "Are you evil?"

She shrugged.  "Guess it depends on who you ask.  I don't happen to
think so.  I don't kill folks; I don't change into a raving
depilatory-challenged beast three times a month.  So I think I'm doing
okay."

He was not sure how to answer that.  Did one congratulate a werewolf
on not killing?  He studied her as she ate; she looked different than
he remembered.  Older.

She looked up, smiled, this time a knowing smile.  "I know, I know.  I
look tons older and not as pretty.  It's because the glamour's gone." 
At his look of utter incomprehension, she said, "The glamour.  A spell
to make something or someone different...in my case, more appealing. 
Nogura did it so the captain would want me and I'd have better access
to watch him.  Of course, it never seemed to work."

"So your attractiveness was enhanced?"

She nodded.  "And I'm glad it's not anymore.  This is me, I've earned
these lines, you know?  Who wants to go around looking like the cute
little teen queen all their lives?  Used to drive me nuts when people
reacted to it.  Why do you think I was always showing off my legs? 
They at least are mine."  She laughed as she ran her hand up the
trousers of the new uniform.  "Now I have no pretty face, and my great
gams are all covered up."

He studied her.  It was true that her face was no longer as youthful,
but her eyes were a vivid dark blue and her blonde hair was thick and
shiny.  Her skin wasn't the smooth and ageless complexion she'd had
before, but it was tanned and healthy looking despite the lines.  More
real.  "You are still attractive," he said.

"That's so sweet of you, Spock.  Christine was an idiot to let you
go."

"No, she was not."  He realized he had just opened up to Rand and
quickly changed the subject.  "You said you had earned the lines in
your face.  Has your life been so hard since you left the Enterprise?"

"Not since.  Before.  You have no idea what it's like to grow up a
werewolf, knowing that you have two natures fighting for dominance."

He lifted an eyebrow, and she laughed--the first real laugh he'd heard
her give.

"Well, maybe you do at that," she said.  "It was horrible.  Feeling
constantly under the gun to sublimate the part of me deemed less
appealing--but no less natural.  I can still see Tsuya Ito's face when
she'd use that cow prod on me.  And those god awful herbs."  She
seemed to shudder.  "I learned to repress it; I learned not to give in
to the wolf.  But I was a slow learner--not because I was stupid, more
because I was rebellious--and when I finally was let out of the pens,
I looked a lot older than I was."

"I am sorry."

She studied him.  "I believe you are.  But you always knew, even if
you didn't know what you knew."  She shook her head.  "Do you remember
what you said to me when the captain was split into two people by the
transporter, after he attacked me?  That the dark captain had some
interesting qualities?  It was entirely inappropriate, you know, to
say that to someone he'd tried to rape."

He looked down.  He had always wondered why he'd said that to her.  It
had been inappropriate, and he could not understand his motives for
doing it.  "When I touched you, when I was trying to help you, I read
something."

She nodded.  "No doubt.  I'm not good at shielding.  And I like it
wild--but not that wild.  He was a little too bestial even for me." 
She pushed her tray away.  "Well, that was satisfying.  Now I have to
find a partner or two." She looked around the room, stopped at one
point, smiling broadly.

He saw Sulu and Chekov both wave at her.  She glanced over at him, saw
his disapproval.  "Oh don't worry.  I won't do them both--at least not
together.  I save that for shore leave and complete strangers."  She
eyed him speculatively.  "I bet with you I wouldn't need two.  You
might be able to keep up with me."

"We shall never know, Chief Rand."

"Please, my name is Janice.  Use it."  She laughed, and the sound was
like a low growl.  She seemed embarrassed by the sound.  "I really
have to go.  Are you sure I can't change your mind?  I may not be as
pretty as you thought, but I'm also not as stupid."  She reached out
for his hand.

Another hand came out of nowhere and slammed hers down.  Christine was
there, glaring down at them both.

"Ow," Rand said, staring daggers at Christine's hand.

"Spock, she's not on the home team."

"That has not been proven," Rand said.

"Oh, I think we know enough to say that."  Christine pushed down
harder and Rand grimaced.

Jim came up behind her, his expression one of concern even as he moved
in such a way that would hide what Christine was doing from most of
the mess hall.  "Do we have a problem here?"

"She's hitting on Spock."

Jim leaned in.  "Spock, you might not be aware of this but she's a
were--"

"--wolf, yes I know.  Ms. Rand and I were just discussing the
drawbacks of having a dual nature."

Christine laughed bitterly.  "Oh, I'm sure you were."

Spock reached over, pried her hand off Rand's and said, "Stop bullying
her, Christine.  She merely sat here because there were no other
places free."

"Excellent timing on her part then."  But Christine backed off. 
"Well, you do whatever you want to, Spock.  Just don't let her bite
you."  She glared at Jim.  "What is it with you guys and these damn
wolves?"  She stomped off toward the synthesizers.

Jim smiled gamely.  "We'll leave you two alone.  Spock.  Janice."  He
hurried after her.

"Thanks," Rand said.   "I didn't expect you to do that."

"Christine can be overly zealous in her application of force."

"If that's your way of saying she's a violent bitch, then I agree." 
She held up her hand, there was a half-healed burn in the middle of
her palm. It looked painful.  "Of course, our captain isn't exactly a
lightweight in that department, either.  They're really quite suited
to each other, don't you think?"

"Jim did that to you?  Unprovoked?"

"Well, no.  I was coming on to him."  She smiled, a silly grin that he
realized might be her true smile.  "I may have had it coming.  But
that's not the point."

"Of course not."

She leaned forward.  "Are you sure I can't tempt you?  I'm enjoying
talking with you.  We could talk more after and after...and after." 
Her grin turned into a leer.

He shook his head, but he knew that his amusement was probably
showing.  Part of him was tempted.  The part that didn't like seeing
Jim and Chris laughing as they waited their turn at the synthesizer
was tempted.  Was that his wolf?

She got up slowly.  "Fine.  I'll leave you alone.  Perhaps we could
eat together again?"  She nodded at her plate.  "I'll try not to order
something that bloody.  Your disgust was pretty obvious."  She smiled,
the silly smile.

He decided she was quite attractive when she used it.  It was
spontaneous, the utter opposite of her carefully executed seductive
smile.  And much sexier.

Why had he thought that?

She smiled again.  "Sorry.  Pheromones.  I can't help it, it's that
time of the month."  She laughed softly, then her smile faded as he
did not react.  "Guess that's not a joke on Vulcan?  Oh well.  Live
and learn."  She picked up her tray.  "Have a nice evening."

He watched her dump her tray and then slink--there was no other word
for it--over to Sulu and Chekov's table.

He forced himself to look away, to focus again on the present, on the
task of taking in nourishment, and being mindful of the gift that each
bite was.  He had limited success.  His own state of mind over Jim and
Christine, coupled with blonde hair, blue eyes, and the lingering
effect of pheromones made focusing on anything but Rand's offer almost
impossible.

--------------------------------

Kirk glanced back at Spock and Rand.  "Should I be worried about
that?"

Chris followed his gaze.  "He's pretty vulnerable right now."

He grinned at her.  "I resisted one of them at my most vulnerable."

Her expression softened.  "Yes, you did, didn't you?"  She looked back
at Spock.  "I guess he can take care of himself."

"You want to eat in my room?" he asked softly.  He might have been
able to resist Lori, but his slayer was another thing altogether.

Her quick nod made him chuckle.

"Order something we can eat later," he whispered.

She laughed, punched a code into the synthesizer and handed him his
tray.  He didn't even look to see what it was, didn't care.

They hurried out of the mess and to the lift.  Uhura and McCoy were
just coming out.

"Jim, Chris."  McCoy said.  

"We won't hold you up," Uhura said, as she pushed McCoy toward the
mess.

Kirk looked back at her, saw that she was watching him.  She winked
and grinned and then turned back to McCoy.

Kirk smiled.  Nyota appeared to be a very big fan of the Chris and Jim
show, and that made him happier than he could say.  He wasn't sure
where McCoy fell out on the whole issue--it was probably harder for
Len, having to choose between him and Spock.  Uhura had been with them
through the last months.  She'd been part of it.  She and Chris had
been his family.

"We going to get off the lift?"

He realized the doors were open and Chris was standing in front of one
so they wouldn't close.

He laughed.  "Woolgathering."

"Some wool."  She bumped up against him.  "I think I'm jealous."

He shook his head.  "Don't be, I was thinking about us.  About what
we've been through.  You and me.  And Nyota."

She nodded.  "Spock will never have that.  No matter how much we bring
him up to speed.  Neither will Len.  They weren't there.  And we went
through hell, the three of us.  We went through it together, and I
think it changed us."

He smiled.  "I know I trust you both implicitly after everything."  He
remembered how she had opened herself to him with Saavik.  "And I know
you trust me that much too."

Her eyes were soft, happy and loving.  "And you know how far I've come
to be able to do that.  I do trust you."

He palmed open his door and set the tray down on the desk.  

She put hers down too.  "So, what did you have in mind?"

He shrugged.  "I thought we could play whist or something." 

"Whist, huh?"  She moved into his arms.

"It's a highly underrated game."

"I think you need four for whist, sweetheart."

"Oh, well, I'll go get Bones and Ny then."  He tried to pull away,
acting as if he was going to charge out the door.

She laughed and pulled him back to her.  

He didn't fight her, let her push him toward the bed.  "Why, my dear,
you seem awfully eager to get somewhere."

She nodded playfully.

"Could it be to the bed?"

She nodded again.  As they passed the comm unit, he saw that it was
blinking.

"Damn."  He pulled away from her and sat down at his desk.  

She came up behind him, began to rub his shoulders, then leaned down
and started to nuzzle his neck.

He grinned.   "This message makes no sense, why do you think that is?"

She laughed.  "I have no idea."  She began to run her hands down his
chest.  "Hurry up and read already."

He pulled her around and onto his lap.  He kissed her for a very long
time, until he felt her go limp in his arms.  "Take this off," he
said, as he pointed to her uniform.

"Now?"

He pushed her up.  "Yes."  He hoped it would distract her long enough
for him to read the message.  He scanned it quickly.  New orders, new
mission.  A real one this time, not this fake scavenger hunt for
Kirsu.

He commed the bridge; Lieutenant Commander Harkins answered.  "New
orders, Commander.   Are we on track?"

"Aye, sir.  We're en route to our destination.  ETA eighteen hours."

"Affirmative, Commander.  Kirk out."

Chris smiled.  "So we can quit hunting for Kirsu for a while?"

He nodded.  "Even Nogura can't justify the flagship ignoring a real
problem in order to gallivant around the galaxy running bizarre scans
that nobody understands."

"Thank god for that."

He noticed she was still in uniform.  "I thought you were getting out
of that."

"I was having trouble with the fasteners."

He grinned as he walked over to her.  "And you like the idea of me
doing it, don't you?"

She nodded.  "I do."  

He leaned in, kissed her and undid her uniform, pulling it off.  He
could feel her making short work of his own clothing.

He hugged her close, his mouth close to her ear, his breath making her
hair move as he said, "This will be a luxury to me for a long time. 
Having you here.  Falling asleep next to you, waking up with you.  I
don't take it lightly; I want you to know that."

She pulled back, stroked his cheek softly.  "I know you don't."

"I love you, Chris.  I don't know when I've felt like this.  It's not
just that I love you; it's that I believe there's nothing I can't tell
you.  Nothing I can't trust you with."  He made a face.  "Not that at
times there won't be information I can't share."

She nodded.  "I know."  She kissed him gently on the cheek, whispered,
"Can we talk lying down?"

He smiled, let her pull him to the bed.  They fell onto it and didn't
talk for a very long time.  Wherever he touched her, he felt a tingle,
as if some magic of her own was mixing with his.

"I love you," she murmured, tracing patterns down his back. 

He shivered at the light touch.  "I love you too."

She looked over at him, her face suddenly serious.  "I would have
waited for you."

He smiled.  

"Forever."

He shook his head.  "Forever's a long time."

She nodded.  "And not often something a slayer thinks about."  She
smiled wryly.  "So maybe I'm not saying much since for a slayer,
forever isn't very long."

"Don't talk like that.  Like it's a given that you'll die early.  You
have me and Spock with you, and you know neither of us will ever let
anything happen to you.  You have Ny and Bones.  And there's a vampire
out there who would probably die for you too."  He kissed her.  "Don't
say you won't be here.  I can't bear it."

She nodded, didn't speak, and he realized she was about to cry.  

"Chris, there's nothing we can't do together if we never stop trusting
each other.  Saavik showed me that today.  She knew what I was doing
when I was trying to see if she was evil.  She knew and she trusted me
not to hurt her.  Then she used that power between us to send the
amulet somewhere that it wouldn't hurt anyone.  She's just a little
girl, yet she knew what to do."  He kissed her again.  "We have to
trust that way.  We have to know that way.  To believe and have
faith."

"I believe in you."  She smiled slowly.  "And I believe in
me...finally."

"And us?"

"And us.  I'll believe in us forever."  She pushed him to his back,
followed him.  "Funny thing though.  I'm suddenly much less concerned
with forever."

"You like the immediate future better?"

She nodded, and he closed his eyes as sensation overwhelmed him.  

"I'm growing awfully fond of it too," he said.

She laughed, bent to kiss him, and he lost himself in her lips and her
touches and her strong, flexible body moving against his.

He closed his eyes.  No matter what they did, the future would come,
and forever would take care of itself.  They couldn't know how long
they'd have together.  All he and Chris could do was enjoy the moment
they were in.  Enjoy all the moments.  However many they were given.

He smiled.  That was all very philosophical, but he knew them.  He
knew what they'd fought already.  And they'd come out okay.  Together,
they'd come out just fine.

The house might always win, but the house had never met Chris and him.
 If he were a betting man, he'd take the longs odds and bet on the two
of them making it to forever.

And then some.


FIN

--
Forwarded to ASCL by:
Stephen Ratliff
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