Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.newshog.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: <20040927023302.6CCFCC610F@ws7-5.us4.outblaze.com> From: "johannes berlin" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW TOS Less [R] (K/S, K/Sa) 1/1 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 237 Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 04:55:02 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: newshog.newsread.com 1096260902 209.198.142.218 (Mon, 27 Sep 2004 00:55:02 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 00:55:02 EDT Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:84831 X-Received-Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 21:56:04 PDT (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Less Author: Hypatia Kosh Rating: R Series: TOS Codes: K/S, K/Sa Part: 1/1 Warnings: incest themes touched on; implied BDSM, rough sex Summary: Spock comes to grips with a few things. I was prepared for him to love women. He always had, now as then, but none of them were going to stay in his life for long, and none of them were going to take my lover from me. In my better moments, I could enjoy the pleasure he shared with them with him. I was prepared for him to love men. I knew it would come, sooner or later, a passing infatuation that would overwhelm him for a time until he returned to his senses. I am patient by nature; I knew it would come, and I knew I would endure it. I was not prepared for him to love my father. Many months passed after he met my father before I evaluated my response to that meeting. That my father clearly respected and approved of him was a relief. That Jim felt the same way about him was harder to take. I was still angry at Sarek; I was both jealous at Jim's easy manner with him, and stung by what felt like disloyalty. These emotions were not logical, so I put them aside. Many years passed and I found I was grateful that he was the go-between between me and my family. He was the peacemaker, the placator. He charmed my cousins, and my great aunts, and even T'Pau allowed a grudging respect for him. It happened that Jim and I were grounded for three months by Starfleet's orders, and given rather light duties in the interim. I made the best of it, working on numerous scientific projects and corresponding with my colleagues. I had a rare chance to follow up on the scientific discoveries of the earlier Enterprise missions. My father was also stationed on Earth at the time, as one of Vulcan's official representatives. The permanent position was considered better for his health, and his political stature within the Federation was convenient for Vulcan. My mother was sent with him, but was frequently gone to other parts of the planet, exploring the world she had left behind so long ago. She did find time to see me in between her travels, anxious to know that I was doing well and proud, I think, of my accomplishments. One on of these visits she met Jim's mother, and the four of us passed an interesting weekend. Jim said he thought all Starfleet families had some things in common. When Jim and Sarek started meeting for lunch in San Francisco, I started feeling that odd anger again. I was jealous of his relationship with my father and felt his attitude was disloyal, but I knew this was the very sort of emotionalism that Surak warned of and I hid it. Their affair took me by surprise. Although we had an open relationship and I was not accustomed to keeping Jim on a leash, it had been years since either of us had formed a liason with anyone outside the two of us and our tiny circle of friends. Over time we had become so close, so intimate, our trust so profound, that we found sex with others unsatisfying. We played games, extreme games by other's standards; one evening he doped my food with a narcotic and had sex with me while I was unconscious; there were times that I set on him, closed my hand over his mouth and nostrils, and forced him to suck my cock or be asphyxiated. Once I walked into his office and he cocked an antique gun at me and forced me to strip; once I gave him an erection and held him that way for seven hours without relief while he fidgeted on the bridge. We both knew that we could go further with each other than we could dare to go with anyone else. My life belonged to him, and his body belonged to me. I was taken by surprise. It was mid-afternoon. I was at work, when I was struck by the intense heat of my bondmate's arousal. The intensity was unusual, but I did not think much of it; he had indicated his dissatisfaction with the lightness of his workload, and I knew where boredom typically led him. No, it was when I felt the touch of a familiar mind through the bond that I froze. Sarek and I never chose to meld as adults, but as a child I had experienced the moods of the adults around me and probed and prodded them in turn with my budding telepathy. That mind was unmistakeable, and I recoiled in horror. I came to awareness of my physical surroundings with a crushed temperature probe in my right hand. My anger at my father was intense. How could he adulterate my bond, violate the sanctity of my marriage? How could he dare to touch what was mine? It was a few hours later, when I saw Jim again, that I became angry at him as well. Jim had often told me that I should forgive my father, that he was a better man than I made him out to be, and that I should be grateful that I still had a father. This time, the words took on a new meaning. I accused him of things, of stealing my father to compensate for his loss, and other such emotionally charged delusions. This angered him enough that for the first time in a long time, he deliberately slept apart from me. I contemplated my anger alone. I knew that nothing I could say or do would change his mind, and would, indeed, most likely backfire. Even if I told him I was hurt, he would somehow twist it around so it looked like he was acting in my best interest. I decided that I would do better to play the role of docile and unconcerned mate. He would tire of Sarek shortly, I reasoned, but if I persisted in angering him I would only prolong it. The next night I tried very hard to please him, but my heart was restless. The more I tried to give him pleasure, the less he liked my attitude, until he finally slapped me across the face. "Stop it, Spock!" he said. I was stunned. I reached up slowly to touch my cheek where the impact of his blow stung me. "Get up," he said, and pulled me into a sitting position. He sat Indian-style beside me. "I am not a Vulcan, and I don't know if your father is a better Vulcan than you are--maybe he is. But I do know that you're a better lover, and you're my lover. I married you--not him. You're actually afraid that I'm going to judge the two of you and decide that your father is better than you are--aren't you?" I looked straight ahead, unable to breathe. He was correct; my father had always beaten me at everything, and I did fear that Jim would prefer him. "Don't be absurd." He pulled me around so I was looking at him, and smiled. "Why did you think that I'd like him better? I like you better. You're different. You can't be compared to anyone else." That was all very well, but I still was not happy with his choice of diversion. "Why him? You know I dislike it." "I have my reasons," he said, as I knew he would. "I offer him what I can." "And what about my mother?" "That's between them. You might understand, if you knew him better." These were not things I wanted to know. "Sex is not a short-cut to intimacy." "I've known your father for a long time. I ... wish you weren't estranged." "You are being a less than adequate mate at the moment," I said, jealous and angry again. "What are you going to do?" he challenged me, as I seized his forearms and pushed him back against the bed. "Rape me?" I was on top of him, giving my bestial nature sway. His eyes were feral and hard, but he was in control and even, just barely, amused. "You know I'll just enjoy it anyway," he said, spreading his legs and raising his knees. "You just want to be overpowered in bed," I said to him, rubbing my heated groin against his belly. "Any Vulcan will do." "No," he said gently, and relaxed all his muscles. His arms which had strained against my hands went limp. "Silly. I want you to overpower me in bed." He didn't complain when I found the last tube of lubricant and used him as I wished. He kissed me while he finished. The next day I had ample time to consider where this left me. There could be no doubts as to his loyalty, or his love. I should have known this all along. But I was still displeased. It was well and good for him to insert himself in my parents' sex lives; he was no relation to them but by marriage; he had not grown up with them. I, however, was their son, and I felt differently. I did not wish to sense my father through his mental contacts with my spouse. I refused to touch Jim's mind deeply until the affair was over. In the past, we had shared every detail of our contacts with others outside our marriage. This time, I did not want to know anything; especially not through the meld. "He has not adulterated our bond because he can't take that which isn't his," Jim said, and I believed him. He accepted the change in our pattern, but did not fail to notice how I anticipated our return to space. "When it is over, it will be over," he told me, and that was enough. I resigned myself to waiting, and staying out of it. That was impossible; Jim insisted on telling me things I didn't want to hear about my father's sexual appetites and how they compared to my own. "Like father, like son," he said, and I was sorely tempted to tie him up in the laundry room and leave him there. What he was to me was too valuable to sacrifice to my anger, in the end. I learned to accept it. I did not want to face my father, but I was able to. Nothing was discussed. Sarek and Jim were both too discreet to give any indication of their private relationship in public, and Jim would never force me into an awkward situation. Now we had a family secret. I preferred it to an open discussion; perhaps I take after my mother in that. Jim ended it two weeks before our return to space. At last I could have him fully again, and the joining was a relief to both of us. He took me to Poland, having got a notion I would like to see the grave of Euler and retrace the Koenigsberg walk. We played tourist for a few hours of the day and spent the remainder engaged in physical and mental intimacy. For a short time we were in a cocoon where only we existed--not our friends, not Starfleet, not anyone. Jim would take me into that world, for a while, but always take me out of it. Too long and he found it morbid. He needed lots of human contact, all the time. I did not. We returned to our lives and to the ship. We didn't talk about Sarek but I got the impression from Jim that whatever the reason, that short-lived affair was a singular occurance. I took some comfort in that. Strangely, I found I no longer angry about it. I found that I had feared my father's influence on my mate, but I need not have. A being as strong-willed and self-assured as Jim would not be swayed by a stern and overbearing demeanor. I had been in thrall to my father as a child, but Jim gave of himself because he chose to, just as he chose to give all that he was to me. I would not betray that trust by my unworthiness. And my father? Perhaps one day I will be able to speak to him as one clan member to another, with mutual respect and affection. I must change before that can happen. I am inclined to wait. Jim tells me not to wait too long. -- _______________________________________________ Find what you are looking for with the Lycos Yellow Pages http://r.lycos.com/r/yp_emailfooter/http://yellowpages.lycos.com/default.asp?SRC=lycos10 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: