Petunia Dursley was not entirely comfortable driving Vernon’s new company car. Mister Grunnings was quite happy with Vernon’s performance, especially after he’d found those illicit transfers of funds by his predecessor. Old Mister Grunnings had personally delivered the Jaguar Sovereign to Privet drive, and insisted that Petunia try out the very comfortable seats. Petunia admitted that she like the seats on the new car. In fact, she’d found them more comfortable than some seats in the house lately, and the sound reduction by closing and locking herself in the Sovereign, well it had been a refuge from her since Dudley and Harry had left. She hadn’t realized how much she relied on her oldest son and nephew.

Vernon might like the responsiveness of the Jaguar, but Petunia was long used to the much more sluggish 1974 Triumph 2500 Estate that was the Dursley’s primary car before. Vernon didn’t trust the 2500 for longer distances, hence his insistence that Petunia take the Sovereign to the Devon home of the Weasleys. Petunia was very glad that they were off the A30. It might not be the M3, or even the M25, but Petunia swore that at least three lorries were trying to run her off the road.

A glance at the mirror revealed that Iris, Primrose, and Violet were behaving themselves for once. Lily had earned the front seat. One girl trying to fill Dudley and Harry’s shoes wasn’t easy, but she was trying. Petunia caught Lily’s look to her out of the corner of her eye. “You’re really looking forward to seeing Ginny again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Lily said. “And seeing the magical place she lives at too. I nearly can’t believe some of her descriptions.”

Petunia turned off the road into an opening between two walls one of which had a sign that said “The Burrow” on it. “Well, Lily, it looks like we’re here.”

Petunia came to a stop as soon as the vehicle was fully in the clearing that the house was built in. Molly had said that most wizarding families didn’t have driveways, but Arthur was obsessed with muggles, and had a Ford something or rather. Molly wasn’t sure what model it was. Petunia applied the parking brake, undid her seat belt, and existed the vehicle, for the first time getting a look at the Burrow.

The Burrow was magic. It was obvious that the house wouldn’t stay up without magic. The base was a typical cottage, with some of it’s original thatched roof poking out between the extensions that had been stacked on top. The first floor was perhaps the most sensible of the stacked on floors, almost being on top of the ground floor, though the space between the two sections was a bit off centered. The second floor, though, that’s where things really got off. It was about forty-five degrees out of alignment with the floor below, with two corners touching the two sections of the first floor. Petunia had no idea how it was really supported. Then there was the third floor which was a tall section with a very peaked roof over the least supported section of the third floor. Petunia figured if the magic ever failed that section was going to topple off right onto the garden shed.

Lily was already running up to the front door by the time Iris, Primrose, and Violet got out of the Sovereign. Petunia held Primrose’s hand as they approached the Burrow. The door open, and Ginny Weasley darted out of it towards Lily. The two met in what could only be described as a twirling crash, as they embraced at speed and spin around, with big grins on their faces.

Molly Weasley followed in her daughter’s wake. “It looks like our daughters were a bit eager to meet again,” the Devonshire house witch remarked.

Petunia looked at were Iris and Violet had joined the two red headed girls. “I’d say so. It looks like Ginny is planning on showing my girls around, though my little Primrose here, still suffering from spraining her ankle yesterday. The pain medicine has made her a bit drowsy. That being said, it’s one less direction for me to be pulled in.”

“Poor girl,” Molly replied. “Even magical potions don’t seem to do so well with sprained ankles. Ginny used to have a real problem with them, trying to follow her older brothers around.”

“Well, today she’s the eldest, so we’ll see what turnabout does,” Petunia replied.

Molly smiled, then cocked her head briefly. “Come on in, I made some biscuits, and the kettle is on for some tea. I can show you around my domain while Ginny pounds up the stairs with your children. My second son Charlie arrived a little while ago, and my eldest Bill said he was coming from Hogwarts this afternoon. He’s the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. I never thought I’d have a son teaching at Hogwarts.”

“So we might get an honest opinion on how our children are doing in their first year,” Petunia said, following Molly into the kitchen door. “Harry’s writing, but he’s always been a rose-colored glasses boy.”

“Oh, we might have to ply him with some tarts, there has only been one time, maybe two, that Bill has been able to hide what was going on from me,” Molly said.

“I hate to say it, Mum, but Bill’s a lot more successful than you think,” a young man with the same red shade of hair as his mother said as he came down the spiral stair case into the kitchen. The young man held out hand, “I’m Charlie, dragon wrangler.”

The following is the last scene in Chapter Five of Very Big Dursley Family. It has just gone out to the betas as of this posting.

“Bradley, get the mail,” Vernon ordered, as he heard it hit the floor and the mail slot snap shut. He was hoping for a letter from Dudley. It may have only been a couple days since he’d dropped his son off, but Dudley had said that he’d write earlier and more often than Harry would. A white form glided through the open kitchen window, before landing on the back of Petunia’s chair. It was Hedwig, and it looked like she had a letter.

Lily was smiling as she stepped up to get the letter off of Hedwig. “I told you my older brother would write first,” she said, addressing Bradley as he got up. Vernon had known for a while that Lily was not actually his child, being magically transferred to Petunia on her sister’s death. It had been something he’d suspected at first when she started having accidental magic. For a while he’d thought that the sign of a Dursley was no magic, then Bradley had summoned his pacifier, and he’d discovered Violet adjusting the color of her shirt the next day. Still, it actually hurt him a bit when Lily started aligning with Harry instead of Dudley.

Lily still called him Dad though. Vernon missed her calling him Daddy. The way she used to plead with him, drawing out the word had never been matched by his younger children, and even Harry was his child, as far as he was concerned. Lily was growing up way to quickly. She was nine, now, and just starting to show signs of her development. He was hoping that she would develop more of a sense of modesty, soon. Thus far, the only sign he’d seen of it was the one time he’d opened the garage door to discover that she was showering in the back. That reminded him, it was past time for him to finish installing the privacy wall for the shower and sinks he’d installed as a project last summer.

“He’s in Hufflepuff!” Lily said unscrolling the letter as she read it. Bradley was returning with the stack of Royal Mail that had been shoved through the letter slot. “Told you he wouldn’t be in Griffindor, Noel! And definitely not Slytherin, Brad.”

Bradley looked up from shuffling the letters. “Nothing from Dudley,” Bradley said in a monotone. It had only been a couple days, but Vernon could tell that Bradley was missing his older brother. Bradley was now the oldest of his boys at home, and third eldest child not away at boarding school. He’d hoped that it might give his son just a little bit more maturity, with some additional responsibilities devolving to him, namely taking more a role with Noel and being responsible for the cleanliness of the room the two shared. Judging from the peak he’d taken of the room, that wasn’t happening yet. “There is a letter from Aunt Marge.”

His children didn’t like Vernon’s sister. There were times where he had to agree with them. The Ripper Incident being one of the primary examples. He’d nearly torn his sister a new one when the dog, after chasing Harry up a tree had bit then two-year-old Noel. It had taken a while before she was welcomed back to the Dursley home. Marjorie, she’d insisted on being called by her legal name after Vernon turned ten, was his sister, though, and the usual Spring visit to her home out in the Lake District where last year they’d been able to ride the Steam Yacht Gondola was a highlight of the Dursley family’s year.

Vernon opened his sister’s letter, as Harry’s letter got passed from Lily to Violet. It began with a whole page about the antics of her dogs, which Vernon only skimmed. It was an interest he didn’t share with his sister. He was a cat person, not a dog person, and if it wasn’t for practicality, he probably would have encouraged Harry to go for a cat instead of getting the owl. Next was a little bit about some house and kennel renovations, then a request on how Petunia was doing with her latest pregnancy.

Vernon looked up to discover that Petunia was just entering the dining room. As she passed near enough, he reached out to pull her into a kiss, causing his children to immediately groan. She was sixteen and a half weeks, now, and showing it a bit. “How is the baby this morning, Pet?” he asked.

“So far, avoiding making me sick this morning for the first time in weeks,” Petunia said, looking over his shoulder. “Marge? I’ll give you a couple paragraphs for your response. Violetta, I’m next for Harry’s letter, and Brad-de-kins, good attempt at making your bed, but you can do better.”

“Yes Mummy,” Violet said. Bradley merely nodded back at his mother before going back to his breakfast. Violet, on the other hand, seemed a bit hyper this morning, squirming in her seat as she finished Harry’s letter.

Vernon turned back to his sister’s letter. It seemed that there had been an incident with Colonel Fubster, whose old regimental secretary had stopped by. Marjorie was afraid that she might have made a fool of herself. Vernon huffed. It was almost a certainty that she’d made a fool of herself. His sister had it bad for the Colonel and really should give it up, because the Colonel did not and would not ever, as far as Vernon could tell.

The Colonel had apparently volunteered to watch the kennel, though, so she could make her yearly trip to visit family in the South of England. Most of which, Vernon was sure, could care less for her visit. His children were not alone in that feeling. She was his sister, and at this point, it was tradition. Violet would move in with Iris and Primrose for the visit for the weekend of her visit. Without Harry and Dudley, they wouldn’t need to make up the parlor at night for the children. He was sure that his children would miss that. It was apparently great fun to camp out there. Last year he’d discovered all eight of them asleep in the parlor on the third morning of his sister’s visit.

“Marge will be here from the twentieth to the twenty-third, this year,” Vernon announced, to his children. The groan from the six was epic.

“My oldest brother is evil,” Ron Weasley said dropping his books on one of the tables in the Hufflepuff First Year Dorm. “Ending class with a tour of the library … how is that Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

“I don’t know, his Dark Arts of Madame Pince’s Library tour certainly gave us some defense against her,” Harry said as he leaned back on one of the scattered low chairs in the wide main chamber of the Hufflepuff First Year dorm. He’d already dropped his robe in his alcove and picked up his Transfiguration boor to look over for the next day’s class. “I think Hermione enjoyed it. At least she had much larger load of books when she left for Ravenclaw than you picked up.”

“I asked Bill what I really needed to check out first. It had to be on the very top shelf in the very back of the collection,” Ron replied. “I thought I’d be able to relax a little at school instead of Mum always pushing me to do stuff. Then bloody Bill had to become a professor. Why did Quirrel have to die?”

Harry weighted responding for a moment. “Sorry about that, I didn’t think trying to shake his hand would turn him into ash. The smell was horrible.”

“You were there when it happened?” Ernie MacMillan asked, as he tossed his robe into the alcove he shared with Malfoy. After classes were over you didn’t have to keep the school uniform on, and the Hufflepuff dorms were on the warm side. Pretty much all of them had ditched the black wool robes. MacMillan had rid himself of his tie, and unbuttoned hid white dress shirt to reveal a Wasps t-shirt.

Malfoy leaned out of the alcove, “at least try to get it on your bed, MacMillan.” Malfoy was still in his uniform, save that the tie was gone. Malfoy seemed to really hate his Hufflepuff tie.

“My family was visiting Diagon Alley for my school supplies. From what the Auror told Aunt Petunia a few days later, Professor Quirel had been possessed by the seriously evil wizard who killed my parents, and the protection that my Mum created by her death for the rest of the family literally burnt the Wraith of You-Know-Who out of his body. He’d been possessed too long, effused with the wraith throughout his body, so he burnt up. I had nightmares for days. That smell.”

“It’s not just the Dark Lord’s possession that burns,” Malfoy said almost inaudible to Harry as he exited the alcove and found a seat. It wasn’t close to the other chairs, which were pretty close to the center of the chamber, but over almost all the way to the door to the boy’s corridor.

“What do you mean, Malfoy?” Harry said, curious. After all, if it was something that his mother’s protection did, he needed to know. At first it didn’t look like Malfoy was going to respond.

Malfoy seemed to sink into himself as he sat in the chair. He wasn’t opening the book in his hand, as his eyes focused on the floor in front of him. Harry nearly resigned himself not to find out, before Susan spoke up. “Come on, Draco. I think you need to say it.”

Malfoy stood up, and uneasily moved forward. He let the book he’d had in hand drop to the floor. As he began to pace, you could hear his deep breath, as he settled himself, as if he was about to release a big load from his body. “My father was a Death Eater, one of the Dark Lord’s inner circle, so they say. He claims that he was under a curse to obey. All of the Dark Lord’s inner circle have this mark, father calls it the Dark Mark, that the Dark Lord gave him.

“Father always tries to hide it, I’m not sure why. Anyway, he was in Diagon Alley when your family went by, Potter. The Dark Mark caught fire, and the burns, they’re not healing well. I’m worried for him.”

Harry stood up and went to stand by the now stationary Malfoy scion. He placed his arm around his fellow Hufflepuff, much the way he’d done so when his younger cousins were in similar moods. “He’s your father, fathers are important, and you should feel that way. I don’t have one anymore, but I remember when Uncle Vernon, my guardian, broke his arm at work. Seeing the cast on his arm, well, I thought he was going to die like my father did at first.”

“Father is too important to die,” Malfoy said, as Harry turned him so they faced each other. Draco was actually just a little bit taller, but somehow Harry still managed to envelope him in a hug. As Harry held Malfoy, it was like something went loose inside Malfoy, as he slumped against Harry. Tears started going down his face. For a long minute, nothing was said, before the gates opened up.

“I’m afraid he’ll be disappointed in me,” Draco admitted pulling slightly away from Harry. “Father expected me to be in Slytherin, to rule the school, or at least my year within days. Now I’m in Hufflepuff that’s not going to happen.”

“Don’t count on that,” Harry replied. He was kind of used to this. It seemed that all of his younger siblings and their friends had ended up in his arms at one point or another. Aunt Petunia said it was because he was like his mother, a natural at getting people to open up. “Like Professor Sprout said, we’re Hufflepuffs, we can do anything.”

Draco pulled out of Harry’s embrace, pulled out a handkerchief from an inner pocket of his robe, and blew his nose. “Not going to happen. I already know who is going to rule our year, and it is not me. It never was going to be. And you know, I really don’t mind.”

“We haven’t been hear a full day, how do you know that, Malfoy?” Macmillan asked.

Draco looked around the chamber. “It was always going to be Harry, come on. Boy-Who-Lived? Heir to the Most Noble House of Potter? Who somehow filled a compartment on the Express with Heirs of no less than three children of Wizengamot members, and one head of a minor department of the Ministry. Don’t scoff at that, Weasley. Your father might be in a small department, but my father has real respect for the office, even though he’s been a rival of yours since their first years.

“If Granger doesn’t end up being number one in our class, I’ll be surprised, just based on sharing a couple classes and being in the library with her. You know she memorized Hogwarts, a History?
“Both Thomas and Finnigan are likely to be tops in Gryffindor. You saw how they greeted and introduced the others to us. Though I already knew Crabbe. Zabini is going to rule Slytherin since I’m not there, and that’s only because he sat with you on the Express.”

“Sitting with me isn’t that important,” Harry replied, feeling his face warm with his blush.

“It’s Slytherin, who you’re seen with is all important. That and who your family is, and what your parents do. Everyone knew who was going to be what in Slytherin. Then I had to be sorted in Hufflepuff, because, apparently, I will do well here. Mangey old hat!”

Lily’s first night in charge.

Dudley had warned Lily that her siblings would challenge her on her first night in charge. Harry had figured that it would be spread over several nights, and bet that Brad would be first. Lily had hoped that she wouldn’t have that at all, especially since her mum had informed the whole family that she didn’t want to hear any problems today. Mum’s pregnancy was not making her feel good at the moment, so she’d retired to the parent’s room with a glass of ginger water and a good book.

It appeared, however, that some of her siblings had not learnt the lesson of keeping everything calm and following orders when mum wasn’t feeling well. It hadn’t been hard to get Primrose and Noel to take their bath. She’d called them right at seven fifteen, just like usual, and sat on the toilet seat while the two undressed and took their bath, just like she’d done a couple times when Harry was sick. There was no playing in the bathtub. Baths were for getting cleaned. A brief inspection had occurred to make sure they’d washed correctly, before she let them put on their underpants and go down for their snack, which Violet was handling.

Iris, at six, was trusted a bit more, and no longer shared the bath with her brother Brad. If she shared at all now, it would be with She was actually waiting for the bathroom to be free. There was a bit of dirt on Iris’s cheek that hadn’t been there when Lily had gone up with Primrose and Noel. There was also a streak of dirt down one side of her outfit. “They’re done?” Iris stated. “Good. You might want to see to Badley.”

Lily knew that the removal of the R in Bradley’s name was not a good sign. “What did he do?”

“Dad has him cleaning up what he tracked in,” Iris said. “He’s blaming Dennis. Something about Gnasher, a leash, and a squirt gun filled with cranberry juice, I think. Whatever it is, Violet is not looking forward to cleaning his shirt.”

“This, I got to see,” Lily said. “Bathroom is yours for the next fifteen minutes … maybe a bit longer if I end up having Bradley shower.” Iris nodded, as Lily passed her.

The moment she got down stairs, she found Bradley barefoot, only wearing his boxers, which appeared to have been dyed red and were soaked to his body. His hair was covered with a white powderBy the door was his jeans, which appeared to be ripped on one leg and had mud on them. He had a mop that which he was using to clean up a trail of mud.”Don’t ask, I’m not going to repeat it,” Bradley said. “Just .. you know … I don’t know what, but Dennis is going to regret what he did.”

“I see … and are there any others that were involved, like perhaps Godwin and Crispin?” Lily asked. Bradley tried not to show any reaction, but he was her little brother. “Brad, would you be talking to Harry?” Bradley looked up briefly with an expression of surprise. “Okay, Dudley was right. They thought the lid was off with Piers, Dudley, and Harry gone. That dog is worse than our aunt’s ever were, and if I’m not mistaken you got hit by the mudballs too. Violet!”

“Yes Lily?” Violet said, leaning out of the kitchen.

“Make sure Brad takes a shower at least, and is really clean for a change,” Lily said. “I’m going to make sure Colin is ready for his little brother … but first, I think I need to talk to Porta. Someone forgot about their Kipling.”

“Kipling?” Bradley said, as Porta went to the phone and dialed Number Nine. “What is Kipling?”

“Porta?” Lily said, the moment she heard an answer. “Please remind Godwin about his Kipling, as we discussed last Wednesday. Oh, has he come in?”

She could hear Porta over the phone state. “You just got a call from the Dursley’s, little Win.” She knew that expression would happen when Dudley made similar calls. She’d been at the Creevey’s when Dudley had called about Dennis before. Harry, Dudley, and Piers called it giving fair warning. It never was done older sibling to younger sibling, and Lily was a good girl, so she’d never gotten a call from Piers. She’d seen both sides though. Lily hadn’t expected to have to do this so soon.

She heard Godwin glup as Godwin, you and I are going to talk tomorrow on the way to school, but first, a single verse to haunt your dreams, because I’m not the Big Boys. My reign as part of the Triumvirate is going to be different. Why?

“When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

“If you though because Piers left you and your friends would be getting away with things, think again. We’re prepared to prove Kipling’s poem. Have a wonderful night.”

Lily hung up the phone, having not let Godwin sign off “Now, Brad, I need to know exactly what Dennis the Menace and his pals did, and I need to know it now, before I go handle him via window. I can threaten Godwin without knowledge, but Dennis requires it.”

Brad gulped. “He thought I was the one that snitched on him with Mister Stone. So he sicced Gnasher on me. I ran but ended up having to go through the Watt’s front garden, which they’ve dug up but haven’t put the new plants in. Then I ran into Crispin and Godwin who dumped a bucket of this awful juice, soaking my clothes. That let Gnasher catch up with me, and he ripped my jeans. Dennis then pulled out his sling shot and shot me with a ball that burst into white powder when it hit my forehead.”

“Good. Now do you want a shower or bath tonight?” Lily asked, already knowing the answer. So she looked around the hall and determined that Brad had done a passable job cleaning up after himself.

“Shower,” Bradley replied.

“Okay, it looks like you’ve done here, so shower, and when you’re done, report to my room for inspection,” Lily ordered.

“Do I have to?” Bradley whined.

“What is your current streak of passed inspections with Harry?” Lily asked.

“Two,” Bradley said quietly, looking down at his feet.

“And how many did Harry say you had to pass in a row?” Lily continued, her hand going out to raise Bradley’s gaze so she could look him right in the eyes.

“Fifteen,” Bradley replied, before turning around and heading for the kitchen door to the garage.

Lily smiled as her little brother headed to the showers in the back of the garage. Then she headed up to the room she shared with Violet. As it was a rather warm night, but already cooling from the hot end of Summer day, the window was already open, letting a cool breeze in. She could see that Colin was already in his bedroom, carefully placing his latest pictures in the portfolio file.

Colin had the photo bug, having received a camera from his Uncle J.W. for his last birthday, and had the use of the dark room that Mister Gallegher had created for his son Todd back in the 60s. He had one of the three drawers under his bed in the room he shared with his brother Dennis filled with his portfolio. His window was also open, and it appeared that he was actually expecting contact. “Lily! Ready to shakedown Dennis the Menace?” Colin said.

“Yes,” Lily said, as she slid Dudley’s black bathrobe over her shoulders. “Is the tape ready for tonight?”

“Yes,” Colin replied, “Shall I get him?”

“Most certainly,” Lily said, picking up an envelope and the letter opener that she’d prepared. It didn’t take long for Colin to bring the other occupant of his bedroom to the window. She nodded to Colin, who pounded a mallet twice on the wooden window frame, actually causing Dennis to flinch at the sudden sound and the closeness of the impact.

“Here ye, here ye, the Court of the Youth of Privet Drive is now in session, Judge Lily April Dursley presiding in succession. The case of Dennis the Menace et.al. vs the Crown thirty-five now sits before the bench.” Colin announced.

“Dennis the Menace, you stand before this court to be arraigned on counts of bullying, destruction of attire, and conspiracy,” Lily said, casually slitting open the envelope, making sure that it would glint in the light of the setting sun. “How do you plea?”

“Not guilty!” Dennis replied. Lily knew that if Dudley were presiding their wouldn’t be such a plea. Same with Piers or Harry.

“You’ve entered a plea of not guilty to this court,” Lily replied. “This is your right, though it may show some lack of remorse, that may be accounted for later. This court, however is a court of fact, and you shall be allowed to present your facts and defend yourself. However, it is late, so before we adjourn I must remind you:

“When the Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometime wiggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trial
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

“The defendant is remanded into the custody of his older brother, and this court is adjourned until thirty minutes after the dismissal of school tomorrow, at which time we shall reconvene in normal session in the Stone Playhouse. Court adjourned.”

Colin slammed the window shut, loudly, and his brother jumped back into his brother’s arms. Lily watched as Colin managed to hold his next youngest sibling, saying something in his ears. There wasn’t much difference between the nine-and-three-quarters-year-old and the eight-and-a-half year old. It looked like Dennis was surprised that his older brother was taking a hard line against him. Colin was sometimes a bit of a menace himself, but Colin was more of an annoyance as opposed to Dennis’s more bullying nature. Lily would take Colin over Dennis any day.

There was a knock on Lily’s door. “Enter,” she said. She turned around as the door opened revealing Bradley, not dried completely, and with a head of hair that hadn’t got wet.. “Brad, did you even duck you head under the water?”